When the clock strikes 12 in the night, we all usher into a new phase every 365 days and exactly then I have a feeling as if I am opening a new door. While I am crossing the door, I tend to look back, and then after a pause, I walk forward. I do not know if this is the case with others but I have this visualisation every single year. And this year was no different.
So as I was crossing this year too, a lot of thoughts came flooding in as I looked back. The year 2023 was a year that was quite difficult for me to put into words. It felt as if it was the fastest year had come and gone by like lightning but it did jolt me in a manner. I believe there are platforms where one boasts about themselves be it on social media or on professional platforms. But do we openly talk about our problems, our vulnerabilities , about our failures? We do not and hence this blog post is about showing that aspect of life where it is a reality that things do not work out the way we want them to.
This year I was diagnosed with some health issues and was advised to go for a minor operation that is due in a few months. Even my family struggled with minor ailments and as a caregiver, it was challenging in many aspects. But the silver lining was that the medications worked in our favor and slowly but steadily I, with my family was able to overcome one health hazard after another. I also had a terrible accident a few days back at my workplace and I injured my face with a lot of bruises on it. The pain was unbearable as the bump on my forehead took a lot of time to subside. However, with God’s grace and along with care and affection from my loved ones, I was able to heal my wounds.
This year, I was the least creative and writing took a back seat. I regret that I have a manuscript ready in my hand and yet could not give it proper shape in the form of editing it, giving it the form of a book, and sending it for publishing! I too could not complete the assignments that I had taken up for my blogging journey and somehow felt a lot disconnected from the community due to my lack of writing and putting my thoughts on paper. There were a lot of distractions and I struggled with focusing and channeling my energy into creation. More than that at some points I had this severe imposter syndrome where I lost a lot of confidence in my creations and more importantly in my own self. And this hindered me from giving my best. I myself felt as if the spark in me was dull all through the year though I was trying to put up a brave face every now and then.
Somehow, this year I felt the loneliest and I struggled with dealing with my anxiety issues. When I look back I realize even Covid and the lockdown days were much easier and did not feel this way for me. So, yes even while executing essential duties, I could not turn my lonely days into solitude and hence that hampered my productivity too. My mental health was at its lowest while I was busy consoling and trying to understand the problems of others. Sometimes I wonder about some questions. Who listens to the listener? Who heals the healer? Who loves the lover? And many times in life the answer is none!
Having mentioned all these challenges I also pat my back to have been able to feature in two anthologies i.e. the Blog Chatter Anthology of Thrillers published by Readomania and the Soulcraft Anthology of poems. These moments felt nothing less than a miracle and did boost my morale to a high extent and I reassured myself to not lose faith in my capabilities.
On the professional front, I successfully completed my official training program which was a month-long exercise and then there was a grueling written and Viva exam for my Departmental Promotion process. It was tough but I was glad to see my name on the Selected list when the results were declared and hence 2023 did give me a beautiful gift while it was departing.
The year 2024 will be a year when I have decided to put myself before anything else. I have vowed to be kinder to myself and choose peace while focusing on healing. It will be a big challenge because self-love comes with a lot of difficulty for me. But this year I have a lot of promises to fulfill and hence, I have decided to prioritize my personal goals and aspirations over anything else, be active in the writing space, and send out entries to journals. I also plan to create a planner to keep my reading on track. Above all, getting fitter and getting back in shape will be my focus this year and I shall try my level best to stay grounded and connect to my true self. I wish and pray that the universe helps and guides me on the right path.
There is a lot more to say and there is so much more I can write about the emotions that I battle daily. But I will just say that I think it is important to realize that there are phases when a little task of waking up from bed and showing up for the day can seem overwhelming. And there are silent battles that one faces every single day. So, I give a shout-out to all those who chose to show up despite such struggling times and I thank everyone, who has been kind to me and tried to understand my inner conflicts and continued to hold my hand. I just want to conclude by saying that we are brave in winning the silent battles that we do not talk about and at the end of the day I wish we all find the divine light at the end of the dark tunnel.
Here’s wishing you all a very happy, healthy, and Prosperous New Year filled with lots of love, laughter, success, and blessings.
Love,
Chinmayee
This post is part of “The Year & You Blog Hop” hosted by Swarnali Nath.
Chinmayee's Creations 
Dear Chinmayee ,
Glad to get the chance to peep into your blog to know about you more.
Chinmayee what I can say is that life take some tests in life to check how much we can bear and then decides what to gift and in what mode or medium.
Health is wealth and when that causes hindrances it actually makes us feel more dull and depressed. But see you are overcoming all those hindrances with medical help and support of your loved ones.
That’s what is the reality of life .. good and bad , ups and down are the episodes of our life story and go. All that is important is to stand strong to face the challenges of life and come out as a winner.
I m pretty confident that your achievement list will be more in 2024 and when the year will end you will have a broad smile 😃 of satisfaction on your face.
Keep going and rock 🥳
Much love ❤
Samata
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Thank you for such profound thoughts that you have shared. I do need all your good wishes.
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Chinmayee, I can see you had a tough year but you have also shown resilience. We all face challenges but how we find our way despite of odds and ow we stand up each time we fall is what build a strong personality. Kudos to you for doing that. Congratulations for your professional achievement!!
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Thanks a ton for saying this, Alpana . Such motivational words means a lot to me.
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A very beautiful read. You’re so right, we don’t talk about the “ugly” side of life because it doesn’t look as shiny but everything is an experience and it shapes us. Who loves the lover? We, ourselves. Self-love has been a hard lesson for me too. Here’s hoping it gets easier in 2024 ❤
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Thanks a lot , Suchita for such lovely comments. Means a lot.
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Chinmayee, your raw and honest reflection on the challenges and triumphs of 2023 is truly amazing. Here’s to a fabulous 2024
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Candid thoughts & great pics, Chinmayee.
Glad to see your achievements-publications in two anthologies, and your name in the official “Selected” list for promotion!
Keep up the great work!
Putting ourselves first & choosing peace & healing & self-love & personal goals & ambitions is important.
Yes, showing up is important.
More power to all of us!
May 2024 be the best. Wishing you good health.
Take care.
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Dear Chinmayee, I have been following you on Twitter and knew that there were bad days in 2023, it was health-wise a tough year, and the more I look back, the more I feel grateful for overcoming the odds. This blog hop sure helped us all come together to share our feelings and problems, and made us feel that we are not alone, also it inspired us to look beyond the immediate darkness and give ourselves a ray of hope to keep looking for the silver lining. Thank you for sharing your journey, All the best to you Girl!
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Congratulations for the two anthologies and for your promotional exams. After all those health issues, these are truly more special, I am sure of that.
I am also planning to create a calendar for planning my writing and reading and all the goals for this year. I just hope all those work out! Wishing you the best year ahead.
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I hope you are doing well now, Chinmayee. I’m sorry you had to go through such difficult times in the past year. Kudos to you for powering through and making strides in spite of it. And thank you for sharing the dips in your life as well, since our lives are a mixed bag and all parts of the story deserve to be told. Wishing you a healthier and kinder year ahead ❤ .
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Wow! Congratulations on being part of both anthologies. May this year bring out the unshakable confidence, that Sivaranjini has wished for all of us, and finally get that manuscript into the publishing process. Waiting to read it. God bless.
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Cheers to your bravery and I also wish you a fabulous 2024 where all that you aspire to and put a lot of effort to obtain be yours. lots of love dear Chinmayee.
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Dear Chinmayee, this post was probably the most resonating one with my 2023. When you said you and your family had one after one health issues and being a caregiver it feels helpless and terrible, trust me, I hear you. I feel sorry for not being in touch with you personally in the last year and now am feeling very sad to know about your problems. I had a similar experience in 2023 and it was overwhelming to handle too much at times. Just like you, I also ask the Divine these questions, and that’s why it felt very similar. “Who listens to the listener? Who heals the healer? Who loves the lover? And many times in life the answer is none!” I really pray for your and your family’s speedy recovery from every problem. Thanks for joining the blog hop and making it successful with your glorious presence. Gratitude. Sending you good vibes to have a Happy 2024.
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Life’s challenges, health hurdles, and personal struggles – you’ve navigated them all with true strength. Hope you are doing well now. Being featured in anthologies and achieving professional milestones are indeec remarkable milestones.. The powerful shout-out to those battling silently acknowledges their strength in showing up each day. Wishing you a New Year filled with light, healing, and success. May 2024 be a year where your promises and aspirations take center stage. 💕
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I’m sorry to hear about your health issue. Hope the operation goes well and you’re back to being fit and healthy soon. And oh dear! The work accident sounds painful. I hope you’re better and recovering now. My empathy is with you for the imposter syndrome and the feeling of loneliness. Congratulations on being part of two anthologies and having read one of them, I must say you don’t need to worry about your writing skills and creativity. You’re on top of your game there, trust me. Kudos to you on making it to the selected list for your Departmental Promotion process at work.
I hope 2024 allows you the time, space, mental and physical health to achieve all your goals. I, for one, am definitely looking forward to more books and blog posts from your side.
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Hugs Chinamayee. This was straight from the heart. You are absolutely right. We share the wins, rainbows and sunshine but we all have our dark days too. Not only is sharing them cathartic but gives hope to the reader who is struggling. Hope 2024 is kinder to you. God bless.
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Chinmayee, I follow you on Insta. I may never have said it, but I have always silently watched how you show up every time despite your struggles. I never knew when I was seeing your posts about your problems, But I remember seeing you always. That’s the spirit in you that inspires me and many more like me. Congratulations on the publications and hope you get to publish our pending manuscript. Good luck for a wonderful year ahead.
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Kudos Chinmayee for your professional achievements. Your publications are the confirmation of your refinement as a good writer. I wish you the very best for the year 2024:)
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Congratulations!! Chinmayee for all the achievements that you made in 2023 inspite of tough times. Your resilience helped you to navigate and come out as a victor. Hope you are doing good now. Wishing you a wonderful and happy 2024 !!
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The most difficult years also give back something to remember for a lifetime. Congratulations on your professional achievement.
When you ask who heals the healer, God heals us all.
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Chinmayee, your openness about the challenges and triumphs of 2023 is moving. Your strength in facing health issues, personal struggles, and professional achievements is inspiring. Congratulations on featuring in anthologies and succeeding in your training program. Your decision to prioritize self-love in 2024 is powerful. Wishing you a year of healing, self-discovery, and fulfillment. You’re not alone, and your resilience shines. Here’s to a happy, healthy New Year for you!
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Hard times might stop us for a while but it’s important to bounce back when the challenging times are over and I’m glad you did that! 2023 is gone and I hope so are the struggles that came with it. Wishing you and your family great times and a healthy 2024. Congratulations on both the books!
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Your honesty about the challenges faced in 2023 is truly commendable, Chinmayee. Amid health struggles, professional triumphs, and a rollercoaster of emotions, your resilience shines through. Acknowledging personal hurdles while celebrating anthologies and professional achievements is a testament to your strength. Your commitment to self-love and prioritizing personal goals in 2024 reflects a powerful determination to overcome obstacles. Wishing you a year of healing, self-discovery, and the fulfillment of promises. May the light guide you through the challenges, and may the New Year bring peace, joy, and success. Cheers to your unwavering spirit!
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I am so glad that you chose to write about your vulnerable side. It is not only brave but also inspiring. You have been so resilient and I wish you a kinder year in 2024. My 2023 was similar and it impacted my writing and much like you I also felt disconnected from the community. Thanks and keep writing.
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