A letter to 2023!

This is me posing after drawing the image ( which shows Boita Bandana- a festival) to represent my state’s culture.

This is me interacting with the officers as I had won a debate competition.

Dear 2023,

As I try to write this letter to welcome you with open arms, I can not help but get a little nostalgic. Today, I was browsing my old albums, yes not the gallery pics on our smartphones but the old albums that we all use to capture pieces of our lives. I had always been amused by photography! To click pics and store them means to capture time and be able to freeze it. And this thought has always amused me a lot. some of the pictures were of happy times and I could not stop smiling seeing my younger days, some pictures did bring in a lot of pain and I could not stop the tears from rolling down my eyes. But I would like to share with you the above two pictures of my NCC Days where I was selected to represent my state at Delhi for the Thal Sainik Camp held every year in Delhi. This camp is held prior to RDC ( Republic Day Celebrations) camps which is again a very prestigious camp. I was in my final year of graduation when this camp happened and I have a lot of memories associated with it. It was indeed a proud moment.

These pictures are special because they somehow pulled me back to my younger self! A girl, who was a typical tomboy, very different from girls of her age and very determined to achieve her goals, very firm to support her family, and very committed to proving that she was no less! When people my age were falling in love, and enjoying life to the fullest, I remember I was in a different league altogether. Did I ever feel that I missed out on anything? No, never! I laughed with all my heart, had no idea how to do make-up or dress up like girls and guys were either my buddies or enemies, nothing in between! Most of them were actually scared because I would not spare anyone if I was right and would call their names out if they ever crossed my set boundary line! Teachers loved me as I was probably the only student since school to do well in sports, win prizes in debates / painting competitions and also be a rank holder in studies.

But then, as they say, life happened and a lot in me changed. I had to put down my monochromatic glasses and understand that friends were not exactly friends, love was not actual love and degrees were not just tickets to your dream life. Life has its own way of teaching you lessons and sometimes it is in a very harsh way! I was someone who was famous on the campus and said hello to many but deep down I had a very tiny circle of close friends and when this close circle betrayed me, I crumbled from within. I cut off many such relations and with each of these incidents, something in me changed. And there was a time when I was on the verge of harming myself because I had started hating any kind of relationship. I clearly remember the pitch darkness that had suddenly engulfed me and somewhere the fighter girl in me, who used to be curious to know new things, who used to be up for any challenge, and who genuinely believed in goodness in people, had slowly started dying.

But by God’s grace, all I can say, the girl you see in the picture is still alive. My family and a few good souls helped me sustain myself in tough times. The little girl probably is no more a little girl, she has grown up to be a woman who loves to dress herself up, wants to look presentable, becomes curious to explore her feminine side, and sometimes just aspires to be accepted & understood the way she is! My exterior self mostly reprimands her and tells her to calm down and I also scold her many times to accept her responsibilities and face reality. Most of the time she listens to me but on some days, she is just out of my control.

I used to be excited about the new year when I was a kid. Drawing customized greeting cards for all my friends used to be my favorite way of welcoming a new year. But that was a long time ago. If I have learned one thing in life, it is about surviving unexpected events and making the best of what is available. So, my dear 2023, please do not be sad when I honestly say that I am not very excited about this upcoming new year. Rather, I just pray that you give me opportunities to prove myself, help me have the courage to face difficulties, and keep my fingers crossed to have my loved ones close to me because at this point in life I do not have many people in my life where I am completely transparent.

Let there be many such events where I capture time through pictures and maybe when I see them after a decade, there will be a smile on my face. I will be a little selfish when I urge you to gift me moments where I can be grateful to you and understand the purpose of my life path. Yes, I am still in search of it! Let this new year feel like a celebration till the end of it even with its learning sessions and I sincerely hope the woman in me( yes the grown-up little girl) continues to be in her best avatar. And may I be able to forgive myself more for trying to live a normal life even though many times, my journey seems a little different from all. I pray to the Almighty to keep me connected with HIM even when it seems difficult to trust!

Let there be love, light & abundance in every realm of all our lives.

Welcome, 2023! I welcome you with an open heart!

Love,

Chinmayee.

* This blog post is part of the Let’s Say Hello 2023 Blogging Activity hosted Swarnali Nath.

51 Comments Add yours

  1. Atulmaharaj says:

    Wow I didn’t know you were in the NCC! That’s a revelation. I’m hoping 2023 brings you the best of everything you ever wished for Chinmayee ji, and hoping we get to meet too! Have a fab 2023!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Atul ji πŸ™πŸ» Yes, I was a NCC cadet in my younger days. I too wish you all the best for everything. And yes, excited to meet you when it happens 😊

      Like

  2. Is that you in the photo? Nice. Wish you all the best for the coming year.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, that’s me. I have completed NCC C certificate with A grade. Thank you for your wishes and I too wish you the very best for the upcoming year !

      Like

  3. Simon says:

    Lovely memories though. ✨ Nostalgic πŸ˜‰ Have a fabulous fantabulous year 2023 ahead dearβœ¨πŸŽ‰πŸ₯³

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Simon 😊. And I wish you all the very best in every thing! Have a fab 2023 ,you too !

      Like

      1. Simon says:

        Thanks πŸ€—

        Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s a beautiful letter that holds your perspective on life’s myriad hues and how you grew up from that little girl to an empowered woman. More power to you, always. Wishing you a fabulous 2023!!! πŸ˜’

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a ton, Swarna for such wonderful wishes. I wish you peace, success and happiness. Have a great year ahead 🌸

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Alpana Deo says:

    I loved how you address yourself- the grown-up little girl. We all have that little girl in us and we should keep her alive. Sometimes, life teach us important lessons in a hard way.. Bt as long as we have a positive approach, nothing can break us.
    Wishing you loads of best wishes in 2023!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot for reading my blog and your wishes mean a lot! Wishing you a very Happy New Year πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

      Like

    2. What a beautiful post. I love reading your writing it’s always positive and happy. Cheers you up. Many more writings to you Chinmayee. I love your Tweets too

      Like

      1. Thanks a ton for such beautiful words ❀️. You made my day truly! Thanks a lot for stopping by!

        Like

  6. Dashy says:

    This was such an honest and heartfelt letter, Chinmayee. I’m always curious about the shifts in people’s lives as the years go by. It was nice to read your account here. Hope you have everything you’re looking for in 2023! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Dashy for stopping by πŸ’•. Wish you too a great year ahead!

      Like

  7. You have taken us back to your good old days. One look at the NCC images, and I buckled up for a nostalgic trip. Covid has made us more appreciative of what we have and as you said, instead of being excited we shall be optimistic of the coming year. Have a great year ahead

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a ton for your support and kind words. Mean a lot 🌸

      Like

  8. Geethica says:

    When you listen to another person’s hardships and how they successfully come of them, your view towards life changes. You feel blessed and no less than others.
    Kudos to you, Chinmayee.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a ton for stopping by and reading my thoughts and your words of encouragement mean a lot to me!

      Like

  9. Thank you for sharing this side of your life with us dear. It indeed is very strong of you and I feel all the more proud of you and admire your grit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a ton Roma for these encouraging words! Means a lot πŸ’•

      Like

  10. Harjeet Kaur says:

    Hey Chinmayee..that NCC cadet was a strong girl, and she never gave up. Why are you so despondent, my dear? We all have our battles to fight every day. You should just not give up, especially faith. Have faith as it can move mountains. I know you can win any battle and I wish that 2023 is a landmark year for you. God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your lovely words, Harjeet ! Means a lot and wish you nothing but the best in every endeavour.

      Like

  11. ftlsteam says:

    Your NCC images reminded me of my school days when I was there too. Your honest letter to the New Year is what moved me as most of us have to fight some or other battle in our lives. So yes, do bring out that NCC girl in you and let that strong child take control over your life, then you will win every battle, my dear. All the very best for this new year

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. Wishing you a very Happy New Year dear 🌸

      Like

  12. Your blog has reminded me of my childhood days and I wish to write a letter remembering those days. I thoroughly enjoyed your pleasant experiences and the NCC pic. Wish you all the best in your future endeavors. Looking forward to reading more blogs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot for your kind words

      Like

  13. Your letter was so nostalgic. Even I was also a tomboy never bothered to dress up or to explore my feminine side. Yes, life do teaches us a lot with passing years. Good to know your journey from being a strong girl to an empowered lady. Kudos to your spirits and don’t loose faith . Faith can move mountains. Wishing you all the best for 2023 !!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a ton Debi for such encouraging words.

      Like

  14. Ranjini says:

    Such a beautiful letter to self. Do you know how when you write a letter to yourself, much like a journal, you reveal yourself to others as well as to yourself. You learn more about yourself. I got the feeling that you experienced that. You are a strong woman chinmayee. I follow you on twitter and been following your blogs since quite some time. There is a lot of determination and persevered going into all of this and that shows!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I re- read your comment and I feel blessed that I have a blogging world to connect who kind of understand me ! Thanks for such beautiful words.

      Like

  15. Harshita says:

    One has to face the darkness to see the light no? Even though you had to see dark days, at least now you know how your real circle is. and that we can count as a blessing. I know 2022 was tough on you, here’s hoping that you are kinder to yourself and the world in 2023. Wishing you love and light!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a ton for your lovely wishes & comments. Means a lot.

      Like

  16. Having said that, digging up old memories is an amazing experience. And good to know that you were a part of the ncc. Pictures in a photo album can never be replaced by the smart technology. Happy new year and wish to have a good blogging collaboration with you in future.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sadvika for your lovely comments and wish you too a fabulous New Year ahead.

      Like

  17. Chinmayee your post was completely super relatable with just a fact of difference I was below average in sports and average in studies. We grow to realize difference is the hardest ever truth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sivaranjini for stopping by and your comments mean a lot.

      Like

  18. Varsh says:

    This is such an honest post and resonated with me on many levels. We’re sometimes guilted into feeling excited about things we don’t really care about, so what if the calendar year has changed. Life goes on. That NCC girl isn’t completely gone, I’m sure. She’s lurking somewhere behind and giving you hope and strength to carry on!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a ton for your lovely words πŸ€—.

      Like

  19. Sonia Dogra says:

    Hi Chinmayee. That’s an honest and straight-from-the-heart post. You’re doing good, trust me. Wish you a great 2023.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot, Sonia for your lovely words !

      Like

  20. Leha says:

    Brilliant post, Chinmayee. Thanks for sharing a cherished piece of life with us. Such a cool pic too!
    Hope this year brings lots of memorable moments for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks dear Leha for stopping by and such beautiful comments!

      Like

  21. Your NCC girl picture reminded me of my good old NCC days. Yes, that sherni is still in you and she will guide you as and when required, its just that you need to have patience and give her chance to come out. All the very Best

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a ton for the motivation ❀️

      Like

  22. Wow, Chinmayee! You have bared your soul in this blogpost. And my learning from this post is that we need to live life as it comes, make the best of it and constantly motivate ourselves to better our life. I wish you all the very best for 2023 Chinmayee! Make more memories, stay merry and have a fulfilling year!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a ton for stopping by and such beautiful words ❀️

      Like

      1. Wizardencil says:

        You are an NCC girl. Wow! This has been. Such an honest write-up. Thanks for this straight from heart post.
        Wish you a great year ahead

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks a lot for stopping by and your valuable comments ☺️

        Like

  23. TripleAmommy says:

    I feel you Chinmayi and I can imagine that little girl and how she went about living her own life. I am sorry that you learnt tough lessons so early in life – but perhaps, they paved your way to the future. I pray along with you for opportunities that help you prove yourself, courage to face difficulties and also loved ones by your side. But I also wish that this melancholy you seem to have within you dissipates and finally my love to the little girl inside you who keeps you smiling πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These words brought a smile on my face ! Thanks a ton for your heartwarming comments. They mean a lot πŸ™πŸ»πŸ˜Šβœ¨

      Like

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