When one looks at the sky , it looks like a canvas with so many hues in it! An everchanging landscape where the colors change like moods, sometimes instantly and sometimes gradually . I click this open frame often, where the puffy clouds float around in the azure backdrop. It fills my heart with a strange feeling of warmth. The sunset scenes across the horizon where the crimson hues dance like flames of fire convey a different mood all together. The night sky with the bunch of stars and the celestial bodies is another story all together! It looks magical sometimes , putting a smile on your face where you can recall some beautiful memories which you treasure in your heart .Sometimes you are transported to a fantasy land !And sometimes, the same vision can make gift you melancholy vibes where despite you being surrounded by people, you feel lonely!

We all need little moments of escape in our daily lives . The days are filled with chaos and innumerable responsibilities. Responsibilities of our livelihood, responsibilities of relationships , responsibilities of our own existence! The mind gets tired and all it needs is these escapades that help us come back on our tracks and renew our thoughts. A little time to refresh ourselves.

For some, words are the only escape routes. Because probably there is so much to express, so much to process and it is easier to write than keep it all bottled within. Well, talking about this bottled condition, the current happenings have made it difficult to survive and even the world itself is like a closed bottle. All the chaos is happening within. The world is right now in a chaotic condition. The pandemic bringing in havoc in the lives of near and dear ones is something we all are dealing with. The restrictions imposed on movements has altered life patterns. The loss of loved ones has changed our belief system in the event called life itself. Life is just like a water bubble and can explode any moment is what is evident now. I have been hearing such ominous news of people passing away from either the dreaded Corona or some other deadly disease like Cancer. This has been tough to handle as well.

In spite of such troubled times , we always have more to add on to the anxiety. The recent news of a celebrity succumbing to the cardiac arrest made ripples in the general public. There may be many reasons for the same but what people did was encroach upon some one’s private space and pass their unnecessary judgements ! In another incident a poor man was accused of stealing and he was tied to the back of a running vehicle and was dragged on the road till he lost his life! This is so barbaric that I hesitate to write in detail about it. In both the cases there was no dignity of death. In the former case, there were camera being pushed into the face of the grieving ones for their loss, just for TRP and in the later, their was effort from the public to circulate the video so that the truth comes in front of everyone. There is so much irony in this that I find it hard to even narrate it.

There have been instances where the protectors and the guardians of the society became its oppressors and have hit the people protesting for their demands in the most inhumane manner. People have the right to dissent in a democracy and have the right to put forth the demands in front of the State. The events of this long protests has been for around nine odd months now and there are many twists and turns in it. The strong resilience, the unity between communities, the bonding between people of different faiths despite severe animosity in the earlier times, gives us a lot to learn. There can be many elements that can break you, but only a firm determination to move ahead, to stay together despite odds, is certainly challenging but not impossible. Even in our personal lives, we need to move ahead in life and repair bonds that we think are important to us is what I have learnt on a very personal level.

Even the geo political scenario is changing rapidly with Afghanistan crisis on a daily basis. I do not want to put down all the events. Because that is the job of the news portals and if you are following this topic, you probably are aware of all the developments. And if not, good for you! Because, ignorance in such matters can be truly a bliss.

So, in such scenario, we do need our little points of escape to keep us sane, to keep us functioning . For me however my escape route seems to be a little chocked. I have not been able to write properly . And that has been making me a little restless. I have not been able to read a single book in completion. I read it and then stop midway ! There have been many books that I have read till half but not till the end ! This phase is a little tough because people who are expressive need to put their thoughts in the open. Nature is another sphere where I often find my escape. To lose myself in the nature’s bounty seems like a dream as of now! The pandemic is still not over and if one craves for outdoor spaces, then only word needs to be reminded again and again and that is “Caution”. So, no luck there as well.

This current phase has been both a boon and a curse. Boon , because we have got work from home scenarios and the liberty to use it to our advantage. And curse because for some it has brought in a sense of passiveness. For me there is no work from home option . But we were allowed alternate day leave which has now been stopped . Daily commuting to work has become a little strenuous and I am sure a lot of people will face this when the restrictions start to ease, everywhere. So, I find my solace when I write a good piece or read something good. Sometimes a heartfelt conversation is what it takes to come back to life. And such phases , where I am unable to express feels like not being able to breathe. Sometimes, I wish I had a wand that I could just wave in the air and convey my real feelings out there. To not say anything, yet say it all ! A little magic never harmed anyone , right? Without magic it is difficult, because you can put your heart out and not be able to say a single word. An irony, you may say! How can writers find it difficult to write, you may ask? Well, we are human beings too , is all I can say.

I wish , I will find my unicorn someday. Together we will chase the clouds across the horizon, look at the crescent moon and ride along with smiles on our faces. May be that will be my last day, when my soul will leave this cursed body and become free, merge with the air, float along like clouds. It will ride the unicorn and fly away to some distant land tearing the cover of the atmosphere . Probably, it will let it all go , cut across all the negativity and depart this world with a little dignity and a lot of love. Probably then, all this cacophony of injustice happening around will stop. I just wish, when my soul finds its escape, may it be able to fulfil its responsibilities, may it be missed for it’s strength, affection and character, may it remind people that it was genuine in nature which felt way too much , cared a lot and was not perfect like every single soul out there. Till that grand and final escape, I pray to be able to write again and find my small, tiny little escape routes and keep up with the realities of life !

What about you? Do you all sometimes go though such rough patches? Let me know.

Love,

Chinmayee