From My Heart- December Musings

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Good Evening!

Hola Everyone. December 1 it is and we have reached to the fag end of the year. What a crazy year it has been!!

It has been a long time that I have spoken about myself on this platform. The very reason why I started blogging! The reason is I wanted to say things that keep bottling up within. I wanted to vent it out and in the process a lot has happened. I did not know that people would connect with my writing. My poems or fictions would stir up emotions was something I had never imagined.

Well like many others, year 2020 has been a challenge in itself. There has been continuous news about deaths, losses, mishaps , mismanagements and what not. The world paused as if the Almighty pressed the button all of a sudden. The mantra of globalization changed into localization in no time. The ever rustling roads seemed empty and people found their living in the four corners of their houses. Many were left homeless without a job and wandered the streets as migrants walking hundreds of km s on their bare foot , all in the midst of the pandemic. The life patters and perceptions towards life changed. We saw it all in front of our eyes and are currently witnessing happenings each day which forces us to ask question , What is right and what is wrong? What is ethics ? Where are we headed as a society? And the list goes on and on.

Coming to the personal front , I was no different. I too experienced a myriad of emotions. This year for sure has been a roller coaster ride for me as well. I have been away from social media from quite some time due to personal reasons and this year I just took a plunge just like Alice in the Wonderland. And what can I say , I have been discovering myself since then. I have successfully completed blogging challenges and wrote my debut e book. I won prizes for my writing which was out of my imagination. Writing has been a hobby since childhood and I was regular in getting published in school & college magazines but it was just that. I guess I had to give more importance to my academic expectations and then realities of life took precedence and I never thought of pursuing writing seriously.

But little did I know that this would become a pathway to meet some amazing minds, to interact with a community of passionate readers and writers and gain so much insight and knowledge. I have been able to find some amazing friends through my journey just like we find pearls from the vast ocean bed and I wish to cherish these few bonds for a long time to come.

Not only writing , I held the paint brush and splashed colors on the canvas after many many years. The colors reminded me of the trophies and certificates that I used to win during my student days on a regular basis and every time the joy of being acknowledged pushed me to do better to deliver better. Every time I paint it feels therapeutic. The joy of being able to create something new just feels good in simple language.

Same is the case with the current writing scenario. There are multiple competitions that one can enroll and win . There are multiple number of ways of using the various social media platforms that one has to engage in to bring out visibility and create impressions. I have understood that even though you write a good book, nothing can happen if it is not marketed well which even I agree with . It may seem a little intimidating when you compare yourself with the engagement of others all trying to realize their potential. It is exciting but sometimes I feel, the pure joy of creating gets lost if I think about of my position in the race. This might be only for me and others can totally defy or deny my point. It solely depends at which stage of life you are at.

Personally I have had to face many darkest moments where I wished I ceased to exist, to just vanish into thin air. Even if one is strong, it does not hurt less! You just take the pain within, just accept the circumstances and tell yourself to trust the process. After all uncertainty is the only certainty in life, isn’t it? But then do we all get comfortable with unexpected changes? Some changes we know are sure to happen and we plan our lives according to that , but then when some occasions happen unexpectedly and it changes your life course, it does change you as a person.

Nonetheless, I think I am still in the process of resurrecting myself and trying to make sense of life. I have come to understand that I need to fine-tune my skills and try to learn more every single day. There are days when I absolutely get lost within my own doubtful cobwebs but then I try to bring myself back to the realm of the real world . There have been my family, well wishers and few souls that genuinely love and adore me even with all my humane flaws which has been my only inspiration to survive.

So, coming to think of it, I think for me Year 2020 has been a year of meeting myself again, to have the courage to love myself again and in the process share the love with whomsoever I cross paths. I thank Almighty for every single gift in life and give me the strength to keep going, to be able to spread smile , to be able to honor true relationships to be able to take care of my near and dear ones. I pray to reclaim my identity as soon as possible. I am still clueless about future like many of us. But with a hand on my heart I am going to repeat “ALL IS WELL” ( yes, The Three Idiots Mantra) and face my fears.

Love

Chinmayee

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Anita says:

    All is well!
    Glad to meet you this year, Chinmayee!
    Keep writing πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Anita for stopping by and thank you for your kind words. I am glad as well to meet you and be the light of inspiration for lost souls like me😊

      Like

  2. Swati Khatri says:

    I will say,
    I too never imagined meeting so many good friends through blogging.
    Thanks for being here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It has been wonderful knowing you as well dear . Stay in touch πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

      Liked by 1 person

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