Did I win or did I lose? (Episode 5)

My theme for #MyFriendAlexa 2020 is School Days & Musings.    Hence, I will be penning down 8 stories that you can fall in love with and may revisit your beautiful innocent days that were never perfect but were filled with fun, laughter & pure joy.   The protagonists will vary every day to add a little more fun and I have used the most possible simple way of getting into these young minds. The Posts will be like diary entries made by these kids at the end of the day about how their day was (mostly about some very memorable encounters)! The posts will be in the form of episodes as every post is interconnected. I have tried to visualize the world from the eyes of the unadulterated souls. I aspire to pass on a little smile that I can, to each one of you reading my pieces so that I will feel that I was of some use.

*Notes- Pallavi is a student of Class IX- A and is the only girl who has become close to Juhi, who has newly got transferred to the school. This particular diary entry is from Pallavi.

*Silviya being in Class IX-A is the leader of all the girls gang in the class.

*Juhi is the new girl who joins the school in the middle of the semester

*Shekhar & Dipankar are best friends and last benchers . They are in the same section as Juhi ,which is Class IX A.

  • Sheela Madam is the class teacher & Ramesh sir is the sports teacher.
  • Pallavi is the girl who sits beside the new girl, Juhi.

Dear Diary,

Today is a special day for me which has forced me to look back towards my entire journey in this school. There have been certain events that have forced me to introspect as to what kind of a student and person have I become till now. 

Today, I came back from school and looked into the mirror. The image did not belong to me. Rather, the image mocked at me. I looked deeply into it. I could not look further. I closed my eyes and held my face in my hands.  My heart felt heavy with so many layers of emotions playing inside it, just like the waves in an ocean.  I felt chocked and a feeling of getting submerged in water filled my senses.  I reached out my hand and wanted someone to pull me out of the dark, suffocating space but alas, there was none.

Hence, I again come back to you my diary, because if it’s not you then who else will understand me better ? I have always confessed my guilt, my insecurities ,my very humane flaws with you . I have shared my secrets as well as desires with you. Today, is no different. I want to pour my heart out and it’s not just about describing today’s events but my inner most feelings that probably I had not told anyone.

I have been studying in this school since kindergarten. I have been jumping class after class and I have experienced studying under so many class teachers in my entire tenure in this school. The new school building that is formed in the L shape and has the towering auditorium, has been built in front of my eyes.  I think probably I stay less at home and school is my first home!  Sheela Mam, our class teacher also joined the school when I was in Class IV. It’s like I have been present ever since the school came into existence. The school play ground did not even have all the proper infrastructure. It neither had a Volley ball court nor the swimming pool that it boasts today!   I belong to the school from my heart & soul but I do not know if the school ever thought of me in the same way.  I have been an average student throughout and hence I am just part of the crowd but never distinct.

It was only in Class VI, when Silviya joined the school that I have felt little important in my life. How?   The answer to that question is not easy. Silviya was never a normal girl.  She had a milky white complexion and long lush brown hair. She looked ethereal. With every passing year, she looked more magical  in her looks. She had an absolute intriguing aura around her that made her special. She too was average in her studies like me but she was famous among the teachers as well as students for her unique charm. She was the first girl who had the courage to wear her skirt above the knee though it was strictly against our uniform decorum. And slowly we all followed the trend. Of course there were many punishments & reminders but we had our own ways to do what we wanted. It was always Silviya who somehow brought these revolutionary ideas to the table.

When we became Class VIII students it was her idea  to  establish our own girl’s group. Then Black Rose Guild took its shape & form. She had taken the lead to bring together all the interested girls and we could discuss every off beat topics & events happening around the school campus. We could laugh it out & it gave a sense of freedom. Be it about the boys or the teachers, the information flow was always fast, secured & confidential. I always felt powerful when I used to be with her. She had her own close knit gang with whom she spent most of the time, though. I felt good when in our group meetings she acknowledged me about my skills of bringing in the fastest news to the group. Thanks to my ultra sensitive ears, I have never failed to grasp the most crucial information like if there is going to be a surprise test, or if any guy is cheating on a girl and how many affairs is he having simultaneously or if there is anything cooking up between the newly joined training teachers. Sometimes, even the school peons help me out. Well, I have had my ways . 

Every three months we have a secret meeting in the Black Rose Guild and a Black Rose Emblem is gifted to the most talented member of the group.  Despite my hard work I have never been acknowledged in the group so far. I have always desperately wanted to bag that Black Rose Emblem. So, when Silviya approached me with her plan, I just could not deny playing along. The plan was quite simple as I was just assigned two tasks. They seemed very easy. And I was assured of the coveted emblem!

  Now anyone can ask about my obsession with these emblems. Is it always easy to be an average student, to mingle in the crowd and never get acknowledged? Be it sports or studies, I am just average! Probably my name in the due course has become synonymous with being average. No one, literally no one remembers you when you are average . Everyone identifies me but they don’t acknowledge or remember me. It’s not easy, it has never been easy. The top rankers are adored by all and the other group who have no concern about their performance ,are either feared or ignored by all. They as if form their own cult and are just like those saints that wander in the Himalayas. They are mysterious and completely lost in their own mystical world. But, what about the group that dangles in-between the two extremes? We crave for appreciation, recognition, a little love and may be a little affection despite us being imperfect. I agree this is like a mirage that we, the average bunch, never achieve and when a single chance of being rewarded came across, I just could not deny.

So, today was the day when I had to accomplish my assigned tasks.  Both the tasks involved Juhi, the new girl who has recently joined the campus. Juhi has that girl next door image and is quite amiable in nature. She is quite sharp as  in spite of joining the session late, she has been meticulous in working hard to catch up with the syllabus .She sits beside me & we talk a lot. She even shares her tiffin whole heartedly with me and somehow in spite of her very ordinary looks, she looks unique & elegant. She smiles with her heart & that somehow makes one feel positive around her.

Somehow, Silviya has developed a grudge against Juhi for various reasons.  The new girl has a brain of her own and she takes her own decisions. She out rightly denied to be a part of The Black Rose gang and this of course had infuriated Silviya . The last volleyball match where Juhi scored points with Shekhar was enough to ignite the fire of vengeance in Silviya’s heart. Silviya  always has been attracted to Shekhar, since she joined this school. Entire campus is aware about it, except for Shekhar! Shekhar always behaves as if he never understands what emotions Silviya has for him or rather he acts in that manner. I am not quite sure. So Silviya wanted to take the case in her hand and a full fledged plan was drawn. I was chosen as the brave warrior. My task was twofold. One was to humiliate Juhi & second was to create misunderstanding between the new girl & Shekhar. Everything went as planned!

So, today we had our internal science practical exams and we had to submit our completed lab records with all diagrams of the experiments that we had conducted. I had the responsibility of making it sure that she loses her practical record. Juhi, being the gullible soul that she is ,was easy to cheat and hence I just had to trick her a little bit and before she could know anything, her school bag had one less notebook, the lab record that needed to be submitted. She panicked in front of me, asked me multiple times about the whereabouts and I kept quite & acted as if I am unaware about it. She believed me so easily!  She was scolded by our science teacher and lost around 20 marks for not submitting the record.  I had never seen her so pale & lifeless since the day she joined the school as a new student. I could sense her restlessness, still I kept quiet and witnessed her turmoil in front of my eyes. I had only one thing in my mind , to accomplish my second assigned task.

Next task was a little complicated as I had to involve Shekhar. Now, I and Shekhar, have been classmates since a long time. Shekhar has always remained in the news for multifarious reasons.  He is popular among both the students & teachers. Not only does he study well but he is a good sports person and has got the looks that always attract most of the girls to have a crush on him. He tops the list in being involved in most mischievous events of the school as well. However, he has one weakness. He never sighs away from helping anyone and this one quality is what I took advantage of for completing my second task.  

Juhi always needed help in completing the syllabus as she had joined the session late. I knew that she needed help to complete her Computer Assignments to match up to all of us. She had wanted a compilation of all assignments in a pen drive so that one by one she can complete it all. She had asked me for it.  This is where I had to play my trick .I purposefully handed Shekhar the virus infected pen drive and asked him that Juhi was in the computer lab & needed the pen drive to complete her tasks. Shekhar asked me why is it that I could not help Juhi myself, to which I lied that I had to complete my own homework.  Shekhar stared at me for a while but then agreed to help. Probably he was about to deny but then I don’t know what changed his mind. I just hoped that somehow Juhi forgets to do a virus scan & my plan becomes successful . Otherwise I had to make some extra efforts to complete my second task.

Silviya came running to me after sometime and hugged me today. She told me that my plan had been successful . It was second time in the same day that Juhi had been punished, this time for crashing the school computer. Finally, she handed me The Black Rose Guild Emblem. I looked at it when the other girls of the group applauded. But then why couldn’t I smile?  Why is it that I was not happy? Why is it that I had a feeling of a free fall in a deep well? What have I done? Will Juhi ever be friends with me again? But does that really matter? How should I face her now? What kind of a person am I ? Silviya, I mean after all, Silviya acknowledged me !! I have been craving for this attention for so, so long!! But why is it that when the spotlight is on me, I want to hide my face?

Did I really win or did I just lose?


Class – IX-A

“I’m taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s My Friend Alexa”

13 Comments Add yours

  1. Sivaranjini Anandan says:

    Felt truly like reading your mind’s way of writing such beautiful stories. Nice chinmayee.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ohhh… you touched my heart!!… Thanks a lot.


  2. This is a good one. But I felt she lost. Cause winning something on someone else’s distress shouldn’t be achievement. #tmmreads

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely!! You can never win when you are the cause of some ones loss. Thanks for visiting my blog!


  3. yogitaamitjoshi says:

    This is sooo beautiful written… love the way you write your beautiful storied

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yogitaamitjoshi says:


      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thanks a lot for the appreciation. Means a lot.


  4. Tina Basu says:

    This reminded of our morning assembly saga too in school! Very nicely written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot for stopping by. Really happy that you could revisit the old memories. Your words mean a lot to me.


  5. Atulmaharaj says:

    We can make a web series on this now! Such beautifully crafted stories taking all of us back in time. Must say you write exceedingly well Chinmayeeji 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot Atulji… means a lot coming from you. really humbled.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Cassi Roath says:

    I love what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and coverage! Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve added you guys to my personal blogroll.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s