I write this blog post today with a very heavy heart. We lost Krishnakumar Kunnath ( KK) today and this was the first news that I saw as I opened my eyes in the bed today! What is unfortunate was he was just 53 years old and was performing live in Kolkata for a concert. Well, honestly I had never realized that he was one of my favorite singers and had sung so many of my favorites. This is what is life probably, we realize something after we lose it and take it for granted when we have it with us! The life of KK from performing for AD jingles to making millions of hearts throb with his melodious voice is a story of grit, talent & determination of never giving up. A complete gentleman who held his family close & had always had this youthful charming smile on his face has vanished from this planet and I find it hard to believe the truth about the fragility of life.

The list of songs that KK made his own with his trademark voice is plenty and the list is very long! With a lot of difficulty, I handpicked seven songs that have had an impact and are kind of very close to my heart.

I want to pen down my feelings and probably freeze my memory with each song because life as per me is nothing but a summation of memories that we create. In the end, as they say, lucky ones get a flashback of their entire life and mostly these are about moments or memories which are very personal and sometimes which we would have felt but never have been able to express.

1. Yarron

This song for me is the trademark Farewell song that we used to play. The purity of school friendships and the skipping of hearts when we used to have a crush on our favorite teachers were so well portrayed in this song that one can feel just made this album such a hit among the 80s & 90’s children. As I listen to it, each of the farewell ceremonies that I have had attended , comes fresh in front of my vision, and with this song in the background, the feeling that got evoked was of sadness of a beautiful journey coming to an end, the pain of going different ways as per our choices but at the same time, there used to be joy in each of our eyes to have found each other in this life time, the sheer feeling of forgiveness and openness for the bonds that we made was something we all will remember. However, little did we know that some friendships would become toxic with time! The innocence of not knowing much, not understanding much, the entire phase of childhood was probably better than ever, I would say.

2) Tadap Tadap

I was in school when this movie was released and in my teenage years. My heart had probably understood by then the pull that one experiences towards the opposite gender. Though I was always a tomboy and unlike other girls seemed very different in my appearance. I had short hair like guys and I loved to flaunt my uniqueness unaware of the fact that most guys loved females having long hair. Well, I never cared for what these guys, whom basically I would treat as my buddies felt. But yes, there was one among them, who had made my heart feel a little different. We both were good in sports & studies as well. Most of the time we would practice together and would compete with each other. He probably saw me just as a friend but I had slightly started feeling a little different towards him. There was a new girl who joined our school and to be honest, she displayed all qualities to woo boys and of course, this friend of mine was attracted to her and probably mostly because of her long curly tassels, only to get his heart crushed later on by her. After years, he had told me that he liked me but always considered I was way above his league! I did not know what to reply. Obviously, my attraction had died down as I had struggled with my own life. But my teenage heart then, had experienced many emotions and the agony of keeping quiet, silently seeing your heart break into pieces was felt by both of us, but probably at different times and for different reasons. This song brings back those memories for me.

3) Sach keh Raha hai ( RHTDM)

This movie is one of my favorites and one of the most sensual songs is ‘Zara Zara behakta hai’ which is my absolute favorite. Having said that, I had fallen in love with actor Madhavan aka Maddy in this movie. The love affair stands strong till today. His salt & pepper look and his transformation as an actor have always made me his fan. As a knowledgeable gentleman, he is capable of making one go weak in one’s knees with his one smile with that dimple on his cheek. And this particular song where he portrays his anguish for getting his love, with tears in his eyes and a childlike ego that he would not want her as she is not with him had its magic on me! The voice of KK is so apt for each emotion which is a complex mix of many layers that is just unforgettable! Thank you, KK for singing this song and making it forever memorable for many fans, just like me of Madhavan. It is one of the closest songs to my heart.

4) Awarapan Banjarapan

By this time, I can say that I had slowly started transforming from a tomboy to a girl next door. I had grown my hair long and adapted to wearing body hugging attires and this transformation had raised a lot of eyebrows among the opposite gender. I still smile as I type this, because the moment I used to enter the college, a lot of heads would turn not because I was the most beautiful or something. There were girls resembling masterpieces on the campus. But probably, my transformation had become the buzzword and a lot of girls did not like me for this. This year, I had probably received my first serious love proposal, which I obviously rejected as I was very career-oriented. Now coming to this particular song, the movie was bold, and the sizzling chemistry between the lead pair was already the talk of the town. Those days, even having a title like ‘ Jism ‘ was a big affair. The story plot was quite complex as well. We used to watch this song in computer cafes and I remember how this song & lyrics made us understand the depth of love that guys feel. For the first time, I had felt how deep can an unrequited love be and the voice of KK as usual did its magic. The feeling of emptiness, helplessness while being so much in love just skips a beat in my heart every time I hear it . It is hauntingly beautiful. This will remain a special song for me , always.

5) Tu hi meri sab hai

Well for this one I have no particular reason but I had liked the chemistry between the lead pair. Probably it was the first time a girl who has drinking problems was so well portrayed by Kangana that made a connection with girls who do not drink but feel an equal amount of frustration at some point in life. This song where Emran Hashmi sings the song for her with all his heart of a course in KK’s voice was a beautiful one to remember.

6) Zindagi Do pal ki

During this phase, when this movie was released I was in love. Hritik, resembling the Greek God, and the way the movie progresses with his co-actor Barbara Mori, was a very fresh take then. This particular song for me is like two birds ( though the name of the movie was Kites) madly in love with each other, facing all hurdles and finally finding their own piece of sky and flying away holding each other’s company. Every time I hear this song, I feel a sense of happiness and freedom. Of course, the voice of the singers is so important that it can make our hearts beat as per the rhythm of the song!

7) Maine Dil Se Kaha

Irfan Khan is a very dear actor. His maturity, his humor touch, and his finesse in acting needed someone as special as KK to lend his voice to make this song immortal. Well, this song is special as during this phase I was battling severe depression and mental break down and I have cried many times hearing this song. Not because it just made me sad, but because I could release my pain by listening to KK’s voice. Struggling with a new pattern in my life, I had many times connected to the lyrics and hence, this is another song that I will cherish for a long time.

I will try and stop here, though there are so many beautiful songs that I can keep writing. I am a little heartbroken today since morning. KK, you left us too soon !! I wish, there was enough ventilation, I wish you had not gone through the congestion due to the heat on the stage! I wish medical aid was readily available to save you. I wish souls like you who have such talent in creating art,were given more recognition and cared better, I wish we consumers felt for our artists who create content and understand how difficult it is to create rather than focus on just consuming! I bid you farewell with all my heart! I hope you rest in peace. Go well. You shall forever rule our hearts, KK!!

With lots of love,

Chinmayee