Does it ever occur to you that you are not good enough or the feeling of insecurity creeping in when actually you have been doing well? Well, then you are not alone! I personally have been experiencing a lot of it lately. And trust me, a lot of others too feel this at some or other point in time.
Imposter Syndrome can be described as an internal feeling that one individual feels that they are not as competent as others think they are. It is closely linked with intelligence & achievements. And this is experienced by people who have been trying out new things or going through some kind of metamorphosis in their own life. It can affect anyone irrespective of their social status, degree, expertise, etc.
The term impostor phenomenon was introduced in an article published in 1978, entitled “The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention” by Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A.Imes. Further study showed that this is experienced by both men & women.
This can lead to social anxiety & restlessness. In yesteryears, I had been able to let go of everything & I did not bother about losing anything. And no, that was not in a good way because, in order to live a satisfying life, we need to have something or some bonds to hold us as an anchorage. Otherwise, you can feel like someone who is either floating in the open space or drowning in the sea. I came to realised it when I took things in my control & met some people who made me fall in love with myself. To have some people who see you without any labels be it age, social standing or status is an amazing feeling that probably can only be experienced and not said. And I am grateful to the universe for the same because such things are nothing but little miracles. I met came across a community that inspires & motivates you to do better. But somewhere I find myself a little aloof from everything that happens around me. And have a feeling, what if all this is a dream & suddenly everything will be over & I will be left alone. what if I will find myself walking back-wards & trust me no one wants that to happen when they have finally started to take baby steps ahead.
All of us are struggling in our own ways. We all have some expectations and goals to achieve. Even leading a peaceful mundane life is a goal for many and that is perfectly fine too. Certain characteristic features of this syndrome are:
- fear that your success is because of external factor.
- you find it hard to accept compliments
- questioning your self worth
- fear that you will lose it all & wont live upto the expectations
- trying to sabotage self confidence because you think people will accuse you of being obnoxious
In this phase, we tend to find our own faults. And we all know that none of us are flawless. But one experiencing this phase may tend to fear that they might be hated for the normal glitch in themselves.
Few ways to deal with Imposter Syndrome :
- Be kind to self : We all become harsh on our ownselves and want to excel in every phase and sometimes we forget that we need to love our own self as well. A little forgiving of our own self goes a long way .
- Its okay to be NOT a perfectionist: Most of the times, we question whether our work is upto the mark or not. And this self doubt often makes a lot of our projects delayed.
- Recognise small wins in achieving bigger goals
- Limit the usage social media & stop comparing yourself with others
- If you have an inner circle, do share your feelings & seek feedback.
- Know that you are not solo in this run
- Accept this phase & give time to yourself to run at your own pace
- Stop seeking validation from others
- Understand that everyone is at different stages in their progress
- Keep faith in self & your ability ( because losing it will finish the game)
And most importantly it is always advised to have a strong inner circle who accept you for who you are in spite of the flaws that you might have, be linked with like-minded people who inspire & motivate, garner open thoughts that are away from any kind of bias. All things said & done, it is not easy to implement in our lives. I hope my write -up would help my readers in some way.
Wishing you & myself all the best !