Did your ‘Mother’ not teach you this?

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Mothers they say are superheroes ! Really ? I wonder sometimes. Not that I disregard motherhood or anything of that sort. I do not consider my self capable enough to even judge on the aspects of motherhood ,as personally I am not a mother, yet. I have been a child to a wonderful mother and she is my real blessing . I have seen my close ones become mothers , seen motherhood from close quarters . Hence will speak from that experience alone today.

When a woman embraces motherhood for the first time, she is nervous , scared and petrified to the core because no one knows how painful , the labor room experience will be or the very fact of being a perfect mother after the child is born. Adding to this experience is the ever present demands and notions that mothers can do it all and sacrificing is just the synonym of motherhood! There is anything but demand to fit in and adapt in this new role from the very instant. Does the mother agree to self sacrifice? Well , who cares? If situation arises, it is solely her role to give up, adapt, bend to the point of breaking and yes no complaints entertained ! More than the fear of enduring the physical pain, the phobia of becoming the perfect mother starts giving nightmares. With the birth of a new baby , a mother too is born . She too finds it hard to juggle her role as a wife, mother, woman, daughter in law, daughter & probably a person all at one time! The divine, or we can say the motherly instincts does the magic & eventually she learns to give unconditional love , care beyond any comparison and put her child before her own self. In return , she experiences a feeling that probably only Mothers can explain or feel. This is probably the reason why motherhood is celebrated . It is the most difficult task to give without expecting, to keep everyone happy without having time to even think what they personally want! Only mothers have been doing this since time immemorial.

I bow down to such power, that makes us feel that even if God is not here with us physically , we have our mothers with us. However, a mother is a human being at the end of the day and when we fail to acknowledge that in our pursuit of giving her a high pedestal, we actually fail severely. In the long run the sacrifice that mothers do , takes a heavy toll on her and the family as well. When we worship the invisible force that mothers possess without understanding that even she needs fuel to keep burning to fight the darkness, is when we go wrong as a society. It is always easy to praise and make one seem like a God because , when we see someone as a God it becomes easier to demand! Let’s not forget, that mothers being human beings sacrifice a lot in the process and at the end of the day might not enjoy to be treated as a means to fulfill never ending demands! All she probably requires is a little understanding, a lot of warmth and boundless love!

However, can we treat our Mothers right, if we do not treat our Women right? Because, mothers are the subset of the universal set of Women! They can not be viewed through totally different parameters. Overlap is bound to happen. From a very young age , the girls are taught to adjust and not complain if they have to sacrifice! After marriage, she is also forced to adopt a new name ! More than anything she has to seek permission to visit her own parents!! Why does the society forget that the newly wed bride also has her own biological mother ? Why is it difficult to understand that a marriage which is symbolic of unison should not be seen as a means to cut ties ?And more than any thing what is prevalent in the society and is taken as a common practice is passing the taunts to the newly wed bahu by saying “ Did your mother never teach you this?” if she fails in meeting the pre-set expectations by her in -laws! What happens to the celebration of mothers at that point in time?

When women choose not to become mothers, they are looked at in a different perspective; when women walk out of a toxic relationship, they are quickly judged as a grave concern for the society and may be even termed ‘promiscuous’ ! Because , society wants women to adhere to rules even if those very rules curtail her freedom to just exist as a human being ! How long are we going to play this game of hypocrisy where at one point we place mothers at par with Almighty and parallelly deny to treat women right? How perplexing is that, isn’t it?

So, if we really want to love our mothers right, let’s first treat her as human beings ! Let us treat our girls , our women right in every aspect. Let us acknowledge the fact that even she has the same urge to have her own identity, one who wants to pursue her own dreams that she had envisioned as a child ! Let us not make it a norm to unnecessarily add to the burden of mothers to renounce everything and become a perfect mother. Let us applause the very capability of creating and nurturing a new life form, but more than that let us recognize our mothers as human beings first on a daily basis !! May be one day, we might be able to worship her in true sense, not just symbolically !!

A single day is never enough to showcase our love towards our wonderful moms in all forms including pet moms ! However, I take this day, to offer my salutation to the immense power that motherhood has and the divinity that we experience when touched with this magical & spiritual feel that our Mothers / Mother in laws bring in our lives. Without them, there is no us for they redefine the very meaning of life with their kindness, compassion, warmth and un-paralleled love.

Love ,

Chinmayee.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Matheikal says:

    That’s right. We shouldn’t overlook the human side of the mother by idealising her.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely agree. Thank you for stopping by

      Like

  2. Pr@Gun says:

    Truly said, all the sacrifices she makes and in return, she just needs little understanding, a lot of warmth, and boundless love. How deep it hurts when we keep hearing since childhood ki bade hoge to sab kahenge maa ne kya sikhaya and when married, tumhari maan ne ye nahi sikhaya.. why are we judged like this and not as simple humans. Lovely post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Pragun for your kind words.

      Like

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