It is the year 2025 & AIs are silently sneaking into our lives. Be it CHATGPT or GROK or anything else, we are being touched by the presence of Artificial Intelligence. The very ambitious human wants to control his/ her environment, and that has somehow made many of us addicted to the most important gadget in our lives, the phone! Yes, we all want to be on top of things, and hence, we keep ourselves immersed in wanting to know what is happening around all of us. Be it opinions, be it news, be it a viral trend, or a crappy piece of information about a not-so-cute-looking doll( aka labubu dolls), the moment we receive the information, our mind accepts it as a treasure.

I read in an article today that we do not need so much information to survive. Rather, an overload of information can, in fact, have a very negative impact on our minds. Our brains have a tendency to focus on negativity rather than positivity. It is called as negative bias of the brain. For example, we are prone to be hurt by one criticism and ignore ten compliments that we might have received. We are eager to be drawn to negative reviews rather than believing good reviews about a project. And sometimes, our overexposure to the outside world can make us feel empty within. Life may seem hazardous and meaningless when we get exposed to gruesome news of murders happening in our society. A little moment of boredom can make us feel like we are missing out, or we might develop this attitude that we need to be doing something ( even if it means constant scrolling on our phones) rather than enjoying the present moment.

Talking about myself, I have found that a little rejection demoralised me so much that it has been a couple of months since I have actually written something meaningful. But then, isn’t rejection part of the writing journey? We all know the answer is yes. But can we deny that the coping mechanism and the period to bounce back are different for all? No, we can not. It is simple. People are different, and hence their responses to different phenomena are different too. I have been honestly feeling a little demotivated for quite some time, and probably the impostor syndrome had hit me so hard that I had lost all interest in creating beauty with written words. And I had no one to open up to! Some battles have to be fought alone. And in this lonely phase, I got trapped in this never-ending loop of scrolling my phone, consuming content mindlessly rather than creating. I lost interest in reading a book, let alone writing my heart out! Starting a season on Netflix/ Amazon Prime seemed like a task rather than an enjoyment. All this while I had been not liking myself, but I could do little.

One night, I had this very uneasy feeling where everything just started spinning so fast that I felt like throwing up! It had similar symptoms to vertigo, but not exactly the same. I panicked because this kind of disease makes you dependent on another person & I did not want that. I got myself checked, and to my relief, it was just a case of low BP, vitamin D deficiency & some minor issues. The doctor prescribed me medicines while cautioning that I need not stress more. I know life can be hard, and a little stress is inevitable. But I was probably feeling anxious due to my FOMO syndrome. I indeed love being on top of things. I feel out of place if I do not know what Gen Z is into these days. I had probably let myself get affected by the rant threads on X or compared my body size with the perfect-looking divas on Instagram ( even though I am aware of the edit features)! I can not pinpoint an exact reason, but all this while I have been cursing myself for not being able to publish my next book, or write a blog post / a book review, or the least read a book.

I knew I needed help. But it is I who has to help myself, & hence I took to art to revive my spirit in creativity & to generally uplift my mood. While taking my medications, I have promised myself to take it slow & not seek validation in terms of acceptance of my writing as a symbol of me being able to write. I shall write for the simple joy of writing & read for the simple joy of reading. I have mindfully refrained from any blog hops and taken the pressure of reading everyone’s posts & commenting. I enjoy all of this. But not now. I just need to be myself. And most importantly, I am happy to declare that making a piece of art daily gives me happiness. I have named this project as my ” Daily Art Therapy,” & this therapy isn’t as expensive as others! wink wink!

So I guess, every problem is an opportunity in disguise, and this phase of me falling out is helping me connect with my ownself & I am trying to gather pieces of my scattered self. I hope I can do it soon.

Last but not least, if any of my readers is feeling low, know that you are not alone. We shall certainly revive, together!

Love,

Chinmayee

This post is a part of Blogchatter Blog Hop.