Mahashiva Ratri has always been special to devotees of Shiva. A Hindu festival celebrated in the honour of Lord Mahashiva & Lordess Parvati. In some religious scriptures, it is mentioned that Mahashivaratri marks the union of Shiva & parvati. In contrast, in some other scriptures, it is noted that Shiva drank the poison to save the whole mankind, which emerged from the Samudra Manthan. Now one can find a lot of information about the significance of the Shivaratri. But this blog post is about my own experience in this night.

It is a common belief to fast on this auspicious occasion. But, I being a food lover found it weird to stay hungry when I was a kid. I would often see my parents fast & do Japa of Shiva Nama. But I would find it very confusing that if one is hungry, then how can anyone think of anything other than food. I would often ask the same of my mother, to which she would just answer saying that you will understand when the time is right. I would roll my eyes and seek my plate of food. Till my adolescent days, I did not fast. And my family being the super cool family that it is, never forced me to do it. Because in my family, freedom of choice is a major concept for all family members. Having said that, we are all very much aware of our limitations too. But one such year, I do not exactly remember when, I decided to fast. It was a big decision. Because I knew once I started, there was no going back. I started initially with only eating fruits the whole day. But trust me, it was very difficult for me. Forget chanting Lord’s name, I was craving food. The entire day I felt grumpy and irritated. But when I saw Maa, I would again try hard to feel normal. This is because my mother is not just very religious, she is very spiritual too. She has this solid belief in the super power and for me she is the personification of Bhakti in the real sense. Sometimes, I am in awe and sometimes, I curse myself thinking how many births would I require to be pious like my mother!

So, every Shiva Ratri was kind of a test for me. And year after year I tried to discipline myself. Slowly my resilience grew a little stronger & I gave up eating fruits on that day. It was only tea ( 2 cups -one in the morning & one in the evening) & Nimbu Pani ( just once) which continues till date. People also keep Nirjala Upwas ( without water ), but I have not given a thought about it right now. And when I talk about fasting, it means having food the next morning and not after Puja at night. So I am talking about a whole 24 hr fasting. So, the challenge now for me was controlling my mind to indulge in good thoughts, to do meditation, to do bhakti. And every time I would force my mind, it would revolt and think something negative. But then Life has a way of teaching you things through practical situations. There have been multiple incidents with me personally where I have experienced the Presence of the Supreme Being. No, I have not had those moments where you witness a magic like a day turning into a night or getting rich by miraculously winning a lottery ticket. These experiences are very subtle & one can only experience them closely. Some incidents were so moving that I almost cried. Maybe I will share those in a separate blog post. All I am trying to say that it is only when I sensed the presence of divinity around me, did I feel it from within to enjoy these fasting rituals annually.

The past couple of years, there have been remarkable changes where I look forward to worshipping my ‘Aradhya’, my Shiva & fasting on Shiva Ratri feels easy as if it is a cake walk. What is astonishing is that on other days, when I do not have food on time, I have severe acidity issues but not on Mahashiva Ratri. This Maha Shiva Ratri, which was on the 26th of February 2025, I fasted and felt a very calming vibe for the very first time. I regret wasting some precious time of this auspicious day in focusing on a few negative aspects of my life. But late in the night, when, along with my family, I witnessed the Mahadeepa being lit high on the peak of the temple ( an event which I attend every year with my family where we, along with all devotees gather on the open space, under the night sky & chant ” Om Namah Shivaya” to witness this huge diya being worshipped & taken to the top of the temple), I prayed with all my heart while my body was feeling as light & as cheerful as it can feel. Isn’t this a kind of miracle in itself, where you can control your mind in such a joyful manner? For me, this in itself was a show of divinity, where I could witness a deep sense of faith, hope & assurance on the faces of the devotees that there is some Supreme Energy which actually does justice to the Karmas that we perform & will always be there to guide & protect us.

So, tell me, how was your experience ( if you celebrate this festival)?

Love,

Chinmayee