His lips felt tender yet they had a kind of fire in them. The moment, I felt their touch on mine, I started burning from within. It was as if a moth was drawn to the fire, ready to perish, forgetting the very purpose of its own existence! I resisted a bit initially but I could not. I was melting from within. I tried looking into his eyes, to find any meaning, but the intoxication of the present moment was so high that I could not keep my eyes open for long! I closed them capturing the memory in my mind & my heart. My heart skipped a beat. Is this love? Can I be that lucky in this lifetime? Just when my mind was getting bombarded with many more questions, he held my palm & pressed it slowly, sending me signals of reassurance. That everything is okay. That everything will be OK!

*********

It felt like yesterday. But that is in the past. It is gone… phew …just like that! What do I do now? It feels like a sin to even breathe in this close proximity. The closed doors of the lift feel like prison walls to me. This bunch of strangers between both of us is acting like a mangrove forest that can save me from the waves of embarrassment between us both! I slowly look at the screen showing the floor numbers! It feels as if it is taking a million years to go from one floor to another. Three more floors to go and all this turmoil will stop. ok… wait! What? why does everyone get out of the lift leaving just me & him in the lift? Ok… what do I do now? should I just get out here & take the stairs up to my floor. But the stairs are kind of spooky, isn’t it? But it isn’t any less spooky here too! I sneak a corner look from my eyes and I find him standing still in the other corner. His presence was enough to make me feel weak in my bones … but what about this heart? It still remembers every tiny little detail. Has he forgotten everything? Does he not recognize me now? Men after all are men, right? Everything is so convenient for them! And for a woman, it is always …can you even say it in one word? Layers of emotions bundled in another layer of restrictions coupled with a ton of layer of judgments of every eyeball that is directed to you. Can men ever understand that when a woman laughs her heart out, she can be subjected to be judged? Can men ever understand how it is to stay in a place where a woman is a woman’s worst enemy? Anyway … will my thinking change anything at all? I look at my watch and fiddle with my sling bag.

I finally feel relieved as the door opens. My floor has arrived. Thank God! Just when I was about to walk out, I heard his voice from behind!

“Please wait, Kusum! Can we talk ?”

Tears fell from my eyes as I heard my name on his lips. A rage engulfed me as I quickly turned my head and looked straight into his bluish-green eyes.

To be continued …

Love Chinmayee